If you’ve shown up here, you may be looking for my primary blog, Till Human Voices Wake Us and We Drown.  I recently changed my URL for that blog to rainydaymanhattan, so you can find me there!

A lot of the people I’ve seen talking about it have been laughing at it, and I admit, certain elements of the videos were amusing.  I, for one, will always be up for laughing at a man with a KFC tash using phrases like ‘u dun goofed’ and referring to reporting things to the ‘cyber police’.  But I couldn’t help but be terrified by the concept of an 11 year old getting into this situation in the first place.  Cyber bullying is never okay.  But from my point of view, cyber bullying isn’t really the issue here.  It’s that she was out there as a target for them in the first place.

Now, believe me, I am a firm believer that everyone has the right to say what they want on the internet - so long as they don’t break any laws.  Freedom of speech, and whatever.  But this isn’t an issue about internet censorship.  This is about adults being responsible for their kids.  One can’t help but wonder what the fuck Jessi’s parents were doing while she was making and uploading these videos.  One has to admire the spirit with which Papa Slaughter leapt to her rescue in what I have begun to fondly refer to in my mind as ‘the video that stopped the internet’, but there’s more to sound parenting then coming in after the damage has been done and threatening to stomp anyone who dares respond to the videos your little girl has posted - not to mention, of course, that the video did little except add fuel to fire.

I can remember back to when I was only a little older than Jessi, and, although none of my exploits were quite as bad as hers, I can totally understand how a kid can think that this sort of thing is cool (although, trust me, you don’t feel like that with the benefit of a few years’ hindsight).  My parents, however, kept an eye on me, especially regarding my online activities - I had to use the family computer, which was positioned in a communal area of the house.  The amount of time I spent online per day was monitored.  I wasn’t allowed to use social networking sites until I reached a certain age.  I wasn’t even allowed to use chat networks like msn or aim.  I might not have thanked them for it at the time, but I definitely see their wisdom now - because back then, in my ‘wearing-black-tshirts-swearing-for-effect-and-using-crappy-eyeliner’ phase, who knows what I would have done if I’d had access to a webcam, a personal computer, and the limitless social networking sites available today.

Of course, times have changed in the (few) years since I was at that stage.  Participating in modern technology and social networking have become even more important in a teen’s quest to fit in with her peer group, and it’s important that a kid gets a chance to participate in the rituals of her age group.  So perhaps my parents’ attitudes were a little strong.  But I still firmly believe that parents should have some control over what their kids are doing on the internet - especially when said kid hasn’t even reached adolescence yet.

I’m not saying that the cyber-bullies/trolls aren’t at fault.  Yes, they shouldn’t have targeted her like that.  She’s 11 years old, and no matter how stupid she is for broadcasting herself the way she’s done, she doesn’t deserve death threats and harrassment.  But if she hadn’t posted the videos in the first place, then none of this would have happened.

Papa Slaughter, I guess I can’t really tell you how to do your job.  After all, I have no idea what it’s like to raise a tween daughter bent on internet fame and cultivating a look that nestles somewhere between ‘greasy junkie’ and ‘mall rat’.  And I do understand that tweens/teens can be notoriously sneaky - after all, I used to be one.  Maybe you did your best to stop her, I don’t know.  But I think that either way, this incident should stand as a cautionary tale to parents out there.  Take your job seriously.  Keep an eye on what your kid is doing - what photos she’s taking, what videos she’s recording and what she says in them, and what sites she’s becoming a regular on.

I’m not even going to get into the self-esteem issues that this girl - along with most other e-celebs - has.  I definitely don’t understand what’s happening with Dahvie Vanity (otherwise known as that singer from Blood on the Dancefloor with the freaking crazy hair).  All I know is that the situation is more sad then it is funny.

And that consequences will never be the same again.

**UPDATE** I’ve just seen a statement from Jessi stating that all of this isn’t going to stop her posting on the internet.  Come on, Papa Slaughter.  Take a sledgehammer to that computer, feed the webcam to the dog, and never look back.